The Inside Man: cold, echoey and cliched — it’s time to ditch the metro tiles for these cooler alternatives

Tiles are durable, beautiful, water- and stain-proof. There’s a reason tiles have been used to decorate homes for thousands of year. Tiles are, in my opinion, among the most beautiful objects made by man. They’re also water- and stain-proof. One look at the newly renovated properties on Rightmove and The Modern House shows that there is no such thing as too many good things. Have I found a deep state plot that aims to replicate the Paris subway network in London one metro-tiled home at time? The attempt to add faux-Parisian je sais quoi to your interiors through referencing the city’s public transport system is nothing short of tragic. They should be called Underground tiles because that’s exactly what they are. But floor-to-ceiling subway (or, if you’re feeling transatlantically, subway) tiled rooms look cold, echoey, and — worst of all — clich??d. If you have already committed to all-out tile, don’t worry, there is nothing worse than being a clich in these climate-conscious times. Wasteful is the worst thing. It is being wasteful.
/ Arcaid Images/ Alamy Stock PhotosFirst, unless you are in North Africa, you don’t need to tile your bathroom floor to ceiling. This is great news for your tired, naked body at 7am. It’s also great news for your wallet. A basin splashback made of tiny squares smaller than mosaic tesserae can give you a continental look. I will also admit that I like coloured grout.
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Lino is equally practical and hygienic in a bathroom or kitchen. Lino looks great when it goes up walls and sides of the bath. It’s also warm and inexpensive. You won’t look too municipal if you choose carefully and add well. You can play with the wall’s colour or pattern, and pair it with a cork floor (warm, eco-friendly and soundproof). Fabulous.